Lessons Learned from "A Christmas Story"

All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Watching the Movie “A Christmas Story”

• Question Authority. Just because your mother insists “You’ll shoot your eye out” doesn’t mean you will. Go for the BB gun anyway.
• Try new foods – that meatloaf may very well be delicious if you give it a try. Eating like a piggy is optional.
• Expand your vocabulary. Your dad can help you with this. You’ll learn soon enough what’s acceptable to say in front of others – at the risk of getting the soap treatment. This is also a great way to spend quality time with the “old man”.
• Actions speak louder than words. A triple dog dare must always be answered, even if it means getting your tongue stuck on a metal pole in the schoolyard.
• Anticipating something is usually better than getting it. That secret decoder pin you’ve been waiting for may not be as great as you hope. Learn to accept the disappointment gracefully.
• Enjoy the journey, and focus less on the destination. Just because the store is closing in 10 minutes doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the parade. Besides, Santa may not be in the jolliest of moods when you do sit on his lap. Ho. Ho. Ho.
• Be kind of animals. Otherwise they may steal your turkey and force you to eat a smiling Chinese duck.
• Stand up to bullies. This will also allow you to practice your newly expanded vocabulary, and gain the respect of your peers. Just watch out for your mom.
• Learn to be gracious and appreciative. Although that hideous bunny suit may be a “pink nightmare” to you, think about how much enjoyment Aunt Clara got in making it for you, and how cute your mother thinks you look.
• Sex education can be fun, especially when you glance upon a leg-lamp’s naught “gleam of electric sex” in the window.
• Learn from your parents. They can teach you useful things like how tame a menacing furnace, replace a fuse, or change a tire in less than 4 minutes. Learning their swear words is optional, and should only be attempted in the most dire circumstances. Otherwise, you’ll risk getting the soap treatment from Mom.
• Learn a foreign language. If for no other reason than to learn to properly pronounce the word “FRAGILE” (No, it’s not Italian).
• The best things come in small packages. Just because something comes in a big box doesn’t mean it’s a “major award”. It could be just a lamp.
• Bribery rarely works to your advantage. Just because you give your teacher the biggest fruit basket doesn’t mean you’ll get that A+ on your Christmas Theme.
• Some things can’t be fixed – you matter how much glue you use.
  

Oh Turkey Day.. How Do I Love Thee?

I thought I might add these photos of the "kids", as they seem to signify the true spirit of Thanksgiving -- togetherness, and anticipation of the feast (that's Sage's tongue sticking out, like the Hungry Howie guy).

Another Thanksgiving is almost here, and this time Big Dave and I will be hosting it in our home. We (well, Big Dave, actually) will be cooking everything from scratch (except the pie crust), using the many fine cookbooks we bought in Savannah. My mom and dad will be our victims... I mean guests... and will be here for a couple of days. Yay. Sorry, did that not sound sincere? Lemme try that again... YAY!

I am looking foward to the oven roasted turkey, the cornbread stuffing with walnuts, the whippped taters, green bean casserole, the fresh roles with real Wisconsin butter. And, of course, the pumpkin pecan pie (layer of pecans on the pie crust). My mouth is already watering.

After the feast, we'll be playing a round of golf, to help work off all the evil food. But not real golf. Big Dave and I have made up our own rules in regards to the sport, and they are as follows:

1. Never keep score. It's much more fun to imagine your next hit as the "hole in one" you've always dreamed about, even if it's really your 10th swing.

2. If you don't like where your ball landed, just pick it up and move it to a more desirable area. 3. The "par" score is just a guideline. We've always found that the higher your score, the more talented you are, because you have more swings under your belt. Practice makes perfect, right?

4. Sandtraps are merely golf course decorations, and should not be taken seriously.

5. Any hitting of a moving target (squirrels, golf carts, fellow golfers, etc.) should be considered better than a hole in one, and extra points awarded accordingly. After all, you did hit a moving target -- do you know how difficult that is?

We add rules as we go, but so far, it's worked well for us.

Hershey on my Mind

Did you hear that? Listen carefully, and you'll notice the sound of my stomach busily digesting all the chocolate I have consumed over the past week. Yes, I spent a week at Hershey, and lived to tell the tale. I endured decadent chocolate desserts, a chocolate massage, and a chocolate-buying spree. I even ate steak sauteed in a chocolate reduction sauce (delicious!) I have visited my mecca, paid my respects (and money and some inches on my waistline), and can now lay claim to harmony with the universe. All is right with the world (insert big contented sigh here). Best of all, I can now say that I am helping charity whenever I purchase Hershey products. Why? Because a certain percentage of all sales go towards the maintenance and expansion of the Hershey School. The school was set up by Milton Hershey in the early 1900s to house and educate orphan boys. It was later expanded to include girls and children whose parents are struggling to make ends meet. There are currently about 1,400 students, and it's open to kids from all over the US, and the families do not pay a dime for anything. Their schooling, their clothes, their food, their upkeep, EVERYTHING is taken care of by the Hershey Foundation. They live in homes with guardians (parents, really). When they graduate, they can receive a college scholarship of $70,000 to be applied to the school of their choice. These kids are given a chance at a decent life -- something every child deserves. What could be better than that?

We also enjoyed some time in Amish country, rode in an Amish buggy, enjoyed Amish cooking, got lost in a corn maze (but finished after 2 hours), explored caves on foot and in a boat, and just generally enjoyed the beautiful countryside. Above are some photos from our trip:

(1) Me inside the Indian Echo Cave

(2) Photo from the parking lot of Hershey Chocolate World. (That's a world I could live in).

(3) Crystal clear springs in the IE Cave. The photo (which is sideways) doesn't do it justice -- it's an amazing site.

(4) Remain of the pumpkin patch on the farm where we did the corn maze. We just missed the Halloween celebration by a couple of days, but the maze was fun -- we did it at night with flashlights.