Freaky Dreams

I don't know if you know this about me, but I tend to have some VERY weird dreams. They range from the morbid, to the impossible, to just inexplicably bizarre. I'll give you some examples:

The bizarre: I am an eggplant (I'm not DRESSED as an eggplant, I AM an eggplant), riding a bicycle, trying to catch up to the #9 bus because I'm late for a Fruit of the Loom photo shoot. I know... I know.. there is no eggplant in the Loom gang, but what can I say? I can't help it if the dreams are wildly inaccurate.

The morbid: I am driving down a windy road, when all of a sudden my car veers out of control and into a ditch. The car then bursts into flame, and my spirit watches from the road while my body burns in the car. Unfortunately, this one I've had more than once, and was responsible for my insomnia for a good 6 months. I still don't know why I keep dreaming it.

The impossible: I am a spy for the Russian mafia, and my task is to infiltrate McDonalds so that my bosses can sell high-tech weaponry in the drive-thru. I get yelled at by my McD manager because I'm filling the fry cups with too many fries, and just as I'm about to deliver some mafia justice, my next customer is one who orders the weapons. I hand him the bag, and he becomes the 1,000,000 customer of the store. Bells and whistles go off, balloons fall from the sky, and a very unhappy former KGB agent is suddenly surrounded by McDs dignitaries, who are trying to get him out of the car for photos and a press conference.

The funny: I am supposed to give a speech to the Nat'al Assoc of Dry Cleaners and Laundries on the importance of always wearing clean underwear while driving a car. The title of my speech? Someone Cares - Wear Clean Underwear.

I have told Big Dave about some of these, and he seems to share my sentiments: some things are better left unexplained.

But I would like to know what's the story with the eggplant. If you have any thoughts, let me know.