My Niece Commands, I Shall (or Not) Obey

The following is a conversation I had with my niece today: (In the background, I hear my sis-in-law providing cues)

Niece: Aunt Kathy, when can I have a cousin?

Me: You already have two cousins. From Aunt Jen.

Niece: (silence, at first, but I hear SIL whisper to Niece the following): But I want one from you. Soon, okay? A girl. I want it to be a girl.

Me: Why a girl?

Niece: Because she can help me with my brother, and teach him things.

Me: What do you want to teach him?

Niece: Things like how to get me stuff, and bring my toys to me, and do stuff for me.

Me: That's not very nice. I don't think your brother wants to do those things.

Niece: But he'd have to do it all if I had a cousin helping me with him. So when am I going to get one?

Me: That depends. It's going to cost you $20. Do you have $20?

Niece: (dead silence, then a sigh) No.

Me: Then sorry. I can't give you a cousin. Cousins are very expensive.

Niece: (another dramatic sigh, and in the background I hear the phone being manhandled, and my niece saying, "Here, mom, you talk to her. She's being impossible. Tell her she has to give me a cousin."

I love messing with her mind.