Unreasonable Hostility

I hate skinny young women. They should be locked up somewhere and the key thrown away.

I recently discovered this hidden well of hostility during a shopping trip to the mall. Every time I saw a PYT in a skimpy outfit, it was all I could do not to reach out and smack her. For every group of giggling teenage girls I encountered, I wanted to throw a bucket of paint on their immaculate hair and outfits and cackle manically. And don't get me started on the ones who display a g-string hanging out of their tight jeans.

I'm not proud of this new hostility. I'm not even sure where it's really coming from. Six months ago, I WAS a skinny "young" woman. Now, I waddle when I walk.

And I know weight gain is a big part of pregnancy. But I guess I didn't realize just how much the weight gain would affect EVERY aspect of my life. I'm clumsier (I seem to drop everything I pick up), I'm slower (it takes me 5 minutes to get out of bed), I'm intellectually dimmer (it took me a full minute to remember my husband's name). Bending over is unwise, if not impossible at times. If I drop something, chances are 50-50 I will be able to retrieve it without Big Dave's help. The cats are no use in this department. They just sit and stare at me, mocking me. I can see it in their eyes. Oh, yes, they love to judge me now.

I used to be full of get-up-and-go and rush around to finish the day's tasks. Now I consider it a day's success if can get even one task completed.

But the really strange thing is, honestly I don't mind. Yes, it bugs me a little, but it's not a huge factor in the dailly scheme of things. Because when I feel baby punch and kick, when Big Dave puts his hands around the bulging belly and says, "Hey you in there. You better be nice to your mama!" I know this is all for something bigger than myself or Big Dave. And come July, we'll be introduced to that "something" and see that all our efforts have paid off.

Besides, I know that in 10 years or so, most of those girls will be in the same position I'm in now. And that makes me smile. And cackle. Possibly even chuckle.

Do you think that makes me a bad person?!?! : )