It seems that no matter what milestone I reached, it wasn't good enough. Reaching for the next one seemed to be the constant expectation from everyone around me.
- Headed for college? Choose a major before you choose a college. No, not THAT major.
- In college? Find a steady boyfriend. Don't want a steady boyfriend? What's wrong with you? You are nothing if you don't have a steady boyfriend.
- Have a boyfriend? Get married. Don't want to get married? How can you say that?! You are nothing without a husband.
- Getting married? You must have the big wedding. Don't want a big wedding? Sure you do! EVERYONE wants a big traditional wedding! It's tradition! Just do it.
- Now that you're married, have a kid. You must have a kid. Don't want to have a kid? Surely you jest. Every married couple should have a kid.
- Isn't pregnancy great? Isn't it a wonderous experience? No? Don't say that. How can you say that? Of course it's great! It can't be anything BUT great!
- Now you have a kid. When you are going to have another one? Because really your kid should have a sibling. Start thinking about having another kid.
- Isn't parenthood great? What do you mean no? Sure you are exhausted, sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and inexperienced, but it's still great. And don't you dare say otherwise.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to explain my life choices. Tired of being made to feel like I'm less of a person because I haven't embraced the "traditional" ways of doing things. Tired of being asked questions about those choices, and not being able to tell the truth, because more often than not, people don't want to hear the truth. They want to hear the polite fiction behind the tradition.
I think the next time I get the question "When are you going to...", I'm going look them straight in the eye and dump toxic waste on them. Then I'll say, "I'll do it when you stop asking me dumb questions and leave me alone."
Enough is enough!
1 comment:
that's what I say exactly!
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