Tonight Big Dave and I will be attending a baby care class, courtesy of the hospital where I will be delivering. The class is designed to show parents the proper care and feeding of their newborn. Since Big Dave and I know nothing about this subject, it will be interesting to see how we fare compared to the other parents-to-be. I will be documenting Big Dave's attempts at diaper changing, and possibly posting the results on YouTube. He in turn will videotape my attempts at swaddling. It probably won't be pretty, but it will be highly amusing for everyone else.
We have not set foot in a classroom since we graduated college, many years ago. Will there be homework? Will it be a pass/fail, where you can't take the baby home until you master the art of burping? I hope not, or I think we're screwed.
The class is only one night, but it's three hours long. How can we possibly learn everything we need to learn about infants in three hours??!?! Do we come home and practice on our other "kids"? Start diapering the dog? Spoon feed and burp the cats?
I know a large part of parenting is simply getting in there and doing it. Once the kid is home, hopefully the thousand-year-old hard-wired motherly instincts will kick in and I'll be able to do all the things required. Or, maybe my wires will short out and the kid will take one look at me and think, "Can you really be THAT incompetent?" Yes. Yes I can.
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